THE HEADLESS HORROR

I welcome Ryleigh L. Torrington to be my guest post.  She is an inspiring young writer and enjoys writing short stories.

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The Headless Horror

Once upon a time there were two eighteen year old girls having a sleepover in Maria’s apartment.

“Let’s have a pillow fight!” yelled Natalie.” “No, let’s watch TV.” said Maria”.

“Fine,  we can watch TV,” said Natalie.  So they decided to watch nature shows. All of a sudden they heard a bang in Maria’s living room. “What was that ?”  Natalie said in a scared voice.

“I don’t know,” Maria answered.

In high school they had heard rumors about The Headless Horror going   in apartments and homes  petrifying  you and wrecking things in your home.

” That sounded like my door!” said Maria.

They heard a crash in the living room! It sounded like vases and lamps falling to the floor shattering pieces of glass which  ricocheted off the floor.

Maria reached for the phone to call 911, but then the power went out. “What are we going to do now?” whispered Natalie in a petrified voice.

“Get under my bed!” whispered Maria.”

“Get under your bed,” Natalie said, still in a petrified and whispering voice. “Isn’t that the place  where most monsters look for their victims?”

“Just do it!” said Maria as she pushed Natalie under the bed following her.

A few seconds later they heard cracking coming from the staircase as a dark shadowy figure, short of a head, walked up the staircase into the guest bedroom. This gave the two girls time to plan how they were going to escape if the Headless Horror walked into the bathroom to search for them. They could run down stairs, out the front doors and drive the car to Maria’s  mom’s house and stay there until the police arrived to investigate.

“Try not to scream,” Maria said in a low scared voice.

They watched from under the bed as The Headless Horror walked straight into Maria’s room! Which  petrified them to the bone.

Then all of a sudden The Headless Horror looked in Maria’s closet (surprisingly not under the bed) and walked out of the room. This was their chance, so they ran down the stairs, out the front door, into Maria’s car, and drove to her mom’s house.

Comments are always appreciated.

Thank you.

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4 thoughts on “THE HEADLESS HORROR

  1. This is an interesting story Jessie. I think you could be more descriptive about why the headless horror is so terrible and a little bit about the story behind his character. I think the best way to do this might be through some conversation btwn the girls. That way, you are building up to them thinking its him and the horrible things he could do to them, creating more suspense. So when the girls hear noises, they and the reader, are very scared. This also gives the girls more reason to think it’s this headless horror, if they’ve been discussing him.

    Also, I know they’re young so they’re thinner, but are they able to fit under the bed? Many beds I’ve seen are barely big enough underneath for a pet to fit under, so maybe a different hiding spot, or more description about the bed, just a little something.

    Overall though, I enjoyed the story and thought it was great I hope this was what you meant when you wanted comments?

    Like

  2. Yes, thank you so much. She is just beginning to write a lot of stories and can use the guidance . It is very helpful to get different views and advise from others. Your suggestions are very helpful and points out things she needs to consider when writing her stories. The more she writes and gets feedback , the better she will become. We appreciate you spending the time to read and comment on her story.

    Like

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