SUNDAY PHOTO FICTION November 29, 2015
Sunday Photo Fiction is a weekly writing challenge where a photo is used as a prompt for a piece of fiction using around 200 words. The piece doesn’t have to centre around exactly what the photo is, it can be just used as a basis for a story.
OLD YELLOW
It rained steady and hard.
My car’s tire went flat so I parked by a lake to change it. Old Yellow, my lucky spare tire tube, was going to be put to use.
I noticed how much the lake had risen. There was a car stuck in the middle of it. The water had risen to the top of it. Standing on the top of the car was a young woman screaming and pleading for help.
The water had rushed up to where my car was and washed Old Yellow out into the lake.
Old Yellow floated near the woman’s car and I yelled for her to jump on it. She turned to jump on the tire tube, but fell backwards. Just at that moment the tire tube shifted and she fell right in the middle of it! She floated down the river and I heard screaming from a distance.
I read an article in the newspaper the following day about a woman saved by floating on a yellow tire tube to safety.
Words (137)
Copyright © 2015 Written by Jessie Cross ~ All rights reserved
Dear Lucy,
I liked reading it, still my honest feedback: It works well as a narrative in the fancy of a kid or in a dream. There is no emotion or urge to save the woman screaming who appears out of nowhere yelling.
Newspaper establishes that it was a fact not fiction. I was hoping that it was fiction.
Thanks for sharing. Have a great week ahead 🙂
Love and light ❤
Anand 🙂
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Your right…I didn’t look at it that way. I had a more detailed account, but I had to delete a lot of words. My thought was ….she was too far to reach and the water was rising, but not moving her vehicle along and things happened so quickly she floated further down the river without time for them to do anything. Maybe an urgent call on a cell phone may have added to the urgency. I appreciate your reading and commenting. It’s great to get some feedback because I don’t always read into what others do and I miss a lot. Thanks so much. 🙂 Jessie
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I am glad you considered my feedback as useful 🙂 Love and light ❤
Anand 🙂
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I liked your story. It was fast moving with tension and a good ending. 🙂
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Thanks, Susan! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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This is the sort of lucky escape that newspapers love to write about! I can imagine a photo of the woman with the yellow tube.
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Yes! Thank you. Ha! Ha! Now, I’m wondering what she looked like….all kinds of images pop in my head! 🙂
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I liked your take on the prompt. It was so good the lady fell into your tire ‘old yellow’ and because of that lived. Great story.
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Thanks Mandi! 🙂
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That tire brings good luck. It’s a keeper.
If I may you might want to check out one sentence. “Just at that moment the it shifted …”
I think you meant “tire” not “it.”
Phyllis
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Thank you! I’m glad you like it and commented. And, thanks so much for pointing out the error, I just corrected it. 🙂
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You are welcome. It happens to all of us. I’m thankful for my proofers. ;0)
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I’ve always felt there was more to ‘inanimate’ objects 😉
Yep, couples and dancing. I wrote the story as if one of my sons were telling it 😉
Lucky me!
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Nice job with prompt. Old yellow had a life of its own. Nice touch with paper, it gives it a small town feel
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Thank you! 🙂
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That lady was just plain lucky! If that were my tire tube, after this happening, I would give it a name too. 😀 Great story Jessie!
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Thank you, Joy! 🙂
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Yay for Old Yellow. I like this story 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
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You’re welcome
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