This is in response to a weekly challenge hosted by Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers.  The goal is to write a story between 100-150 (give or take 25 words) based on the provided photo.

Chapters 1 – 10 on :

Permalink: https://luckyjc007.com/2015/05/26/mini-series/



This week’s photo is supplied by PricelessJoy


Damon and DeeGee arrived in Honolulu.  They met John, DeeGee’s parent’s friend, in the coffee shop.

John told DeeGee that her father was in a medically induced coma and her mother had suffered a stroke.  This is all the information the doctors gave him.  They were waiting for DeeGee to arrive.

Damon rented a car and after thanking John for meeting with them, he and DeeGee left to go to the hotel.  They had to wait until the next day to go to the hospital.

Shortly before reaching the hotel they passed a beautiful stone church with a large black bell. DeeGee said it looked like the one she attended at home.

They arrived at the hotel, got the keys to their rooms and while waiting for the elevator Damon spotted a man pretending to read a newspaper.  The man was watching DeeGee’s every move.  He quickly turned his head away each time he saw Damon look in his direction.  Damon had an uneasy feeling about this man.



Words (167)

Copyright © 2015 Written by Jessie Cross ~ All rights reserved

21 thoughts on “HONOLULU

  1. Lots to keep us guessing here, Jessie – and plenty to keep the story going. I’m intrigued by the man with the newspaper. He comes across as a threat to them. I’m also wanting to know about the condition of DeeGee’s parents – both sound in a bad way. Looking forward to finding out more next week… 🙂


  2. Thank you Millie, I keep coming up with different ideas , but have a general plan as to where I want to go with this story. I find myself wanting to convey more, however, the word count keeps me on track.


  3. Oh boy,what’s going to happen now. This story just keeps on getting more and more mysterious. Tho I must say, I love the new addition, the “mystery Man watching Deegee” .


  4. My goodness! So little information to receive about her parents and the condition they are in. Now, just who is that man behind the newspaper? I’m enjoying these pieces 🙂


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